We were reading our Humor Scope today and here’s what it said for Pisces:
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You should learn something from your cat — no matter what you’ve done wrong, you can always try to make it look like the dog did it.
I knew that cat was secretly out to get us. I am not a Pisces; Miss Natalie is and, while I appreciate her sensitivities, I’m a Gemini. Yeah, I know, two-dog-faced. Lulu is a Capricorn. Figures.
Things have changed in our household and Lulu and I have been spending a lot more time outside. I don’t really appreciate that, especially after getting my last haircut, ’cause it’s getting cold! Sure, we have shelter and water but it’s just not the same as being able to laze around on the couch all day. What is wrong with these people?
Summer is over. Last year, we went here:
This year we stayed home ’cause of the gas prices. I don’t know what the big deal is. Lulu and I have all the free gas in the world. We would have gladly gassed it up all the way from here to California. This is an area, however, where we usually always make sure to blame the cat. Maybe that was our downfall.
I’m pretty sure the cat is an Aries. We aren’t sure ’cause we took him from the crazy, drunk lady
who lives down the street. Sad case, she is, but we are glad Q is with us now.
If you want to know your Humor Scope, go here:
October 12, 2008
Spent the weekend digging. It’s cool to dig. No, really, quite literally; it’s cool to dig. And then I lie quietly… in wait… of the rainstorm… impending on the fenced horizon…
It rained. Monsoons are here and I have a mud spot on my forehead. It’s all so very East-Indian… I’ve been begging for a bath and a shave. What’s a guy gotta do to get a bath and a shave in this dump? My personal approach is to gently remind my peeps by liking between their toes. They giggle. It’s not funny. I have an image to maintain! Cute ain’t easy, dontcha know?!
Last month, Miss Natalie shaved my belly and bum so close that I got a rash. A rash like that is like the Chicken Pox (A Pox on chickens!!) and I just could not leave it alone. I felt like a cannibal. They coned me. It was super embarrassing and Q laughed at me constantly. Lulu told me it was for my own good. I don’t care about either of them. I reminded Q that he constantly suffers the indignity of being carried around like a sack of potatoes. He sneered at me, slashed the screen door, and sulked under the apricot tree.
The water dish is difficult enough to navigate as it hits me at the throat when I attempt to drink. Try doin’ it with a plastic cone on yer head. I had to stand on my tippy-paws just to reach the water and, horror of horrors, once I lifted my head out of the bowl, an entire cups’ worth of water sloshed into my beard. My beard is the only clean area on my body despite my best licking efforts. I worry about my bum… Miss Natalie says it’s better than worrying my bum. Whatev… I feel so… so… UNclean!
People! People!! Give me a bath already!
My buddy Bo, the neighbor dog who lives six houses away, always comes for a visit during these monsoonal thunderstorms. At the slightest hint of thunder (Remember, our hearing is so much better than yours and his is exquisitely magnificent! He can hear a rainstorm forming ten miles away!) he freaks out and shows up at our door. My peeps call his peeps and then we wait for his peeps while my peeps debate whether they should put us all in crates and go have their lunch as previously planned. It’s all a little confusing and makes me feel tense cause they say things like, “Yeah, but, he might just chew his paws off trying to get out.” I don’t know what they are talking about ’cause I’ve never tried to get out of my crate. Oh. Wait. Maybe they mean Bo? Hmmm… Never thought of that until just now.
During the waiting, I like to show off my superior dancing skills. Lulu is never amused by this but will, at times, allow me to dance along her back while barking maniacally. Bo just looks at me and then attempts to mark the blue chair. My peeps hate that; I laugh at his intentions. Then the cat hisses and the chase is on! Lulu tries to join but is too big to get under the couches. Bo and I work together to flush the cat out from hiding. Yesterday, Q ran across Miss Natalie’s napping body and nicked her with his claws. She was fit to be tied and ushered all of us out into the rainstorm. That only lasted about five minutes ’cause Bo was running around the yard blaring, “THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!! CALL ANIMAL PLANET!! CALL CESAR!! SOS!!”
God, I love it when Bo comes to visit.
D-Man calls Bo, “Boat”. He doesn’t seem to mind ’cause he’s preoccupied with rainstorm intelligence and reports of impending doom. He can be kind of a downer sometimes. I still like him though ’cause he lets D-Man chase him around the house. It gets me off that hook, fo’ sho’!
A’aight… people! I gotta nap. I’m strung out from this morning’s activities. Time to chill.
Peace.
Out.
July 21, 2008
lululaspazz
mojobichon